In support of mediocracy

It is with great sadness that i accept that being ordinary is not acceptable any more. Every sphere of society demands something novel, distinct and original. I would even say that there is an unhealthy obsession with originality. Don’t get me wrong i am not supporting plagiarism.



So the fodder for this thought stems from a conversation with my superior while discussing appraisal. I got a response that baffled me, he expects something from our team, but he does not know how to put it across. Its like the stupid client requirements, they don’t know what they want, but they want us to hurry up.



With a smirk he added “You work just like others, there must be something original which i would like to see, as you see we reward those employees who mix efficiency with creativity”. I wanted to say, “How about we trade positions, you do the debugging while i will monitor your work sipping coffee”.

Even marx would turn in his grave.



I feel such incompetent incumbents suffer from X-factor. A phrase which i feel is pejorative, borrowed from reality shows. Whenever the judges couldn't rate the lowlifes called contestants, they attribute it to the lack of X-factor. What are they Catholics? One of the other things that irk me about creativity is the ABOUT ME section on social forums. It gives lingual delinquents, mostly hippy teenagers and wanna- be’s a space to express them selves. Where they scribble some hieroglyphics like “ mA AtTtiTuDe Is mA StYlE” kind of one liner. Such people should get their knuckles crushed for abusing the kings’ language. Articulation has surely hit a low point. All in the name of being hip and new wave, I fear.



I realized that this is the deal with everything around me, from advertisement products to relationships. “Something different”, “an aberration from ennui” and being “creative” were the constant sales pitch. Some soul searching would tell you that you would want to escape from your inborn clutches of life, our fears and do something *different; *the disease to be different is within us. A voice in your head asks you not to become another brick in the wall.



So basically what the world around me says is, Be different and be yourself. But buy our products and think the way we want you think. Talk about being novel and rich at the same time!



The only thing that you cannot lie about is dog food ~ Anonymous



Every other entity which wishes to be successful claims that it is different or there is something novel about it.Take a look at the advertisements most of them are about the same products which are already exist in the market.Their product does the same thing that others do in a same way. But there is a catch, they are different.I mean how many different toothpastes, shampoo's and biscuits could we possibly need. Do you really feel that the technical "experts" that they show in the backdrop working for the quality look that attractive.



Even reality shows like NEWS, political rallies, romantic vows and other pro-testerestrone related activities are obsessed over this quality. Fancy terms are juxtaposed; flash programmed and highlighted all to grab COMMON man’s attention.



Being different, unique, novel (insert another modern euphemism if you will) is one of the most abused qualities ever. One takes offence in being called trite or ordinary. We protest against the B [B for bollywood] grade movie producers who churn out movies of the same genre. The truth is that “Novelty is just a myth”, if that wasn’t the case annu malik, SEL would be thrown into pits, Rajkumar santoshi would never dare make another silky-silky-milky-milky movie on the lines of AAA. People wouldn’t vote for politicians who did the same thing, in the pretext of a new excuse .People would not believe in marriage and refuse to reconcile despite knowing that it is the single largest contributor for depression in adults and so on.



It disgusts me that society flirts with success and novelty in the same breath. And many would say that not being different is one of the reasons why one was edged out of the market. I want to shout out loud that, novelty is a quality that is attributed [accepted] only AFTER the commodity is successful. Not the other way around. I could name a million products in which novelty and intelligence were the cardinal ingredients, but ended up in the bin.



If every one says they are different, what are they different from?



But that is a utopian thought and i am not a schizophrenic. Not yet.

Racism : A slur or a blur?

Abstract:

Many of who know me personally will share a thought that i am a person who happens to have a view on everything under the sun. My parents spotted this irritable quality in me when i was a kid in primary school. Though being an obedient student i would often get into arguments with my teachers. My questions mostly were Why does this happen so/ Why not this?.

Teachers who were calm, mature and knowledgeable often answered my doubts, but more often than not the retort would be “It is because it is and we have been following it for ages”, “Why do you have to ask such stupid doubts and make a fool out of yourself” and my mom’s favorite “If you touch fire, you shall burn your finger. People who are wise take it as wisdom or caution and others challenge it and get their fingers burnt”. Even at a young age I had this indifference towards others opinion’s about me and it has stuck on.

I argued that the quote symbolized ignorance more than arrogance, but my answers were always muted by their expression of anguish. It always beats me why i could never argue when my mom looks upon me disappointingly; it is the single greatest defense i have ever known. It insulates her from hearing my arguments by having this impregnable veil.

I have this urge of pouncing on any controversial subject and rant about it and get it accepted. I find many blogs and writers harping on such subjects to boost their readership. As my blogs are hardly being read and because i am incapable of promoting them, i have decided to turn over a new leaf in my post’s attitude. My previous blogs have been of that nature and thanks to Rajiv and my mom i am attempting a blog on a more neutral tone.



It all happened today, my team leader [Chinese] returned from pune after overseeing a project. When i asked him how did he find pune, he folded his hands and shook his head sideways saying in a heavily accented Hindi “ Behut Achha Hai”. I had this ambivalent emotion running through me, was he mocking me and my country? Or has he really loved his time at pune? Many a times we come across a situation when we meet a person on train or flight. If you’re new found friend turns out to be worth talking up to, an eventual question arises between the two “Where are you from”?

And if we had been remotely close to that place which the other person says that they hail from, we say things like “Yeah i have been to Chennai, nice beach, big dosa’s , women with flowers on their head etc… It strikes a chord doesn’t it? If the other person turns out to be a sport, we would go ahead to statements like “Ah that place has choc- a-bloc traffic, the police are horrible and politicians are noisy bastards with their placards and advertisements etc…” Even in this case one manages to strike a sense of companionship with the other despite the acrid criticism and this conversation acts as an ice-breaker.

But when we hear the same or read about anything disgraceful about our country, region [i choose to ignore religion, as it’s a different ball game altogether] we unite. In the enthusiasm to stand up and get counted, we fail to hear “our” voices. Our opinions are overshadowed by insecurity and we blend in with the mass idea. We start to crib vehemently and write posts and to demonstrate our feeling. We support Facebook pages like “We need 100,000 people to like this page to oppose this cause” etc…I hear people saying that one has to defend one’s pride, and if we chose not to we are a disgrace to our creed/ country.

What about guys like me, who have an opinion for everything? Who feel that one should not be allowed to subterfuge one’s patriotism to play dice to some marketing gimmick or a politician’s way to leverage his ulterior motives. Are we the black sheep's? Why are we accused of being non-patriotic snubs? It’s funny to see that many a time the original culprit is let go scot free and the person who ignores to comment or react on this is ostracized.

My personal belief is that “All humans are racists by nature” and racism cannot be abolished. However tolerance can be nurtured. If one traces the aboriginal traces of mankind. They were Africans, later they migrated to various parts of the world [Excuse my ignorance, if i am amiss]. Due to the climate, food and other factor’s ones color changed. The gene’s kicked in and we had various races of people all around. Everyone wanted some kind of protection, identity and hence formed groups/races were found on various factors such as beliefs, color, profession etc…Race was discovered to preserve one’s identity and conflicts began when they became insecure about their existence or wanted to demonstrate their superiority.

The ground for hatred based on races is very brittle; it’s our manifestations and vivid interpretations which bring out the worst in us.

Racists are those who feel other races are inferior or evil compared to theirs. There can be only two kinds of people who are not racists, one who mock all and others who treat everyone as the same without any disparity. The latter is harder to find and more hard to follow. I feel i fall in the first category; i find it really amusing to see various people up in arms for the slightest of slander. My choice to express it aloud depends on the repurcussions that i might have to face.

This reminds me of a quote from Madagascar when a zebra says to other

“Brother, you are different from others. They are black skinned with white stripes and you are white skinned with black stripes”.

Sums up the case with us humans, we are a funny lot. Laugh on it and go easy on the violence part. I hate this part of conclusion, where one has to sum up their thoughts and justify their post by quoting some famous quotes. And stamp their authority with a signature. I am no different, but i chose not to summarize anything here. My blog and thoughts are abstract and i tend to keep it that way.

I love quoting quotes. Apart from making one sound wise, it also sums up what you feel to say and lends credibility. So much for the no-cliché-post eh? Heh.

Never do anything against conscience, even if the state demands it.

-Albert Einstein.

CPR : Life is a funny business!

After a cathartic post i wanted to write something funny, you know. It is my thing, I think i can be funny in a way to entertain myself.

CPR stands for Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation, phew its quite a “mouth-full” trust me. I was inducted to my new job by being requested to attend a CPR seminar by a memo. Whenever i read a mail from my boss, my first reaction is “Shit, i hope i am not fired”, because gulf is a place where there are unlimited possibilities for getting fired , killed or jailed in any order.Anyways the notice was to all the new recruits to attend a compulsory CPR training program and complete certification in order to follow the norms of some accreditation.

I went to the meeting and the guy introduced himself as Mr.XYZ khan from Pakistan. He pronounced it in a very British way which only i found funny and my colleagues sat agape at his “diction”. He asked every one to introduce themselves to the crowd and we were sitting in a circle, its a shape i hate the most.

/* Digression Alert*/

I mean first its a shape very difficult to draw and i always had problems in the parade which we presented to our GUEST on independence day. It was a grotesque sight to be honest .Fifty odd sweaty fat kids sitting and standing up to the beats to form an alphabet on the ground soiling our clothes.Why the flip does it have to be that difficult, how the blip is it creative? I shall address these profound questions some time later.

Returning to the part, we were asked to be seated in chairs which was in a circular shape and it faintly reminded me of rehab programs which i heard about from the news, so much for feeling like a celebrity in your first job eh. Heh. He noticed that the group comprised mostly of east Asians , a couple of Arabs and 3 Indians. He pointed at us saying, oh! you are from India. I love bollywood and shahrukh khan[My colleague smiled, i was left confused]. Should i feel less threatened ? /* Insert anti-paki jokes here*/.

Its the thing that xenophobic people do when they meet strangers, Oh you are from Tamilnadu? I once went to bangalore, bhery nishe glimate. Yes everything below madhya pradesh is south India, you ignorant twat. They say the most abstruse of things and expect us to agree with them. I asked my mom about why we do it and she said it was human-bonding. She has the simplest of answers to the most difficult of questions. Respect.

Sorry for the digression, now to the act. There was a projector and he began explaining us the nuances of CPR .Whenever any one asked any questions “Excuse me Mr.XYZ, he would retort sharply. Dr. XYZ “ and the poor chap would tremble and forget his question. The session was informative, but i got bored in the end when he went on to explain how important it is to be aware of CPR and the benefits it can give to humanity and crap. I wonder why people get such hard on when they make others believe that their job is very crucial to the society. While I was trying to curb my yawn, he promptly caught it .And in a cocky tone announced “ I guess our friend Mr. Dhanesh is feeling sleepy, i retorted in a micro second. “No, sir just bored that’s all”.

No canned laughter again, only glances of torpor. I don’t know how i had the guts to say it out loud.I guess I'm at my best behavior and intellect when i am half asleep.

We were asked to practice our theory on a mannequin which i honestly found repulsive and i guess i was the only one who found posing your derriere to the guys behind you while p[h]umping to save the victim as funny. Life is such a serious business you see. DIGRESSION ALERT!.I see humor in the simplest of things, one needn’t be as smart as Wodehouse. For example when you are in a train look at the person opposite to you gyrating to the movement of the train , shaking in a rhythm. I always fail to stifle my laughter and the co-passengers instead of being upset in turn are very kind to me. I guess they thought that I was “special”.

My turn came up and i finished it in a jiffy and next to me was a woman in her 50’s who beat the crap out of the mannequin while trying to resuscitate, she would make a good Indian actress [read overacting] or a very bad wrestler. Not in my seven lives would i want to be resuscitated by that woman. We were given refreshments at the end of the session.I thought i had enough content to mock the crap out of the event. But i was in for more treat.The funniest part of the presentation lost its charm as it was given to us in pamphlet , which served two purposes. Cultural enlightenment and approach towards CPR in Arab environment.

The pamphlet was well done with small caricatures and silly cartoons and signs which make the most educated look retarded, it was a huge list i choose to share only the ones that i recollect.

1. One may never approach a woman to perform CPR, if you are not their direct relative.

2. You may need consult of the child’s parents before performing a CPR.

3. At any cost you should not unveil the lady of her veil if she is down with a cardiac arrest.

4. One needs to convince that they are trained in CPR[I can hardly ask for directions in Arabic].

4. If you are at a scene of accident on the highway, DO NOT APPROACH THE VICTIMS UNTIL THE POLICE ARRIVE. Your position can be misconstrued and you bear the risk of getting arrested .

5. It is a criminal offense if you ignore any of the above mentioned stipulations.

Canned laughter again.